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| Finally made it back from Tempe, Arizona. On 4 November, 2009, I left went to the first professional conference in my life, and that was the Symposium on Second Language Writing 2009. I am so happy that I could get into such a nice conference to begin with. The people there were great. They were mostly professors, scholars, and phd students. I got to see many big people in the field: Tony Silva, Paul Matsuda, Illona Leki.. and so on. Well, of cos there were many many big people whom I don't know there. I felt so good when I was surrounded by people who share the same interest with me; plus they are all 100 times more experienced than me. I just enjoyed all those sessions I went to because they all talked about something that I am interested in... Omg... What an experience! | | |
| I always thought I know what I want. I mean, I like to do planning, planning for my own life. At this point, I don't know what I want. Well, I mean, I kind of know, but I am not sure if I should go for it. Is it worth the time and effort? I am so tired. This kind of feeling is so strange. I feel like life is becoming mundane and thus boring, but every time after one semester I feel so content. I told myself before I started this program that I will not complain about grad school even if it is hard, because I only got two years afterall. However, the fact is, I can't help but to send out negative energy, because that is how is release the bad energy inside. I want to yell; I want to scream. I really want to throw that internal bad energy out. What can I do? I miss being a simple person. He said, "You are making it way too complicated." I guess he was right. I am making it too complicated. I am just complicating my life. But this is what I am taught here. I still remember how Dr. Cogie asked me to complicate my paper idea a little. So is it only people in the academia that are complicating issues? Where do I really belong?! | | |
| Suddenly, I want to write for myself'...
write something that belongs to myself,
something that does not have an argument,
something that does not need evidence,
something that asks no questions,
something that has no references I am my own audience
I don't care if you don't read it
but if you do, be ready
it may not please you
because that is not my purpose
Purpose, there might be a purpose
but I am not sure what it is
Please tell me if you know
I would greatly appreciate it
I am writing to meet no deadlines
I am writing for no one to judge
I am writing because I want to write
I am writing because I like to write
I am thinking at the same time when I write
but I am not sure what I am thinking
Please tell me if you know
I would greatly appreciate it
"Grad school made me old"
I told everyone I know
I have done tones of boring writing
but they all look meaningful to the educated
Life is often boring
especially when you are writing boring stuff
Life is sometimes meaningful
especially when you are writing meaningful bullshit
Life is always uncontrollable
because you can't help but write something stupidly meaningful I am pleased now
because I have finally written something meaningful
thanks for reading my boring rebel
I have to go back to writing now
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| 膽汁入水 - A nice story to read 一位少婦到老中醫那裡求診，她已經多日茶飯不思，夜裡無眠，身體乏力，日漸消瘦。 老中醫給她切過脈，觀過舌象，便說：「妳心中有太多的苦惱事，體有虛火，並無大病。」 少婦聽了，如遇知音，於是便傾訴心中的種種煩惱。 老中醫又問起她的另外一些情況：「丈夫對妳感情如何？」 少婦臉上有了笑容，說：「很疼愛我，結婚十年從未紅過臉。」 老中醫又問：「是否有孩子﹖」 少婦眼裡閃出光彩，說：「一個女孩，很聰明，也很懂事。」 老中醫又問：「種的莊稼年年都遭災減收嗎？」 少婦趕忙搖頭說：「已連續三年大豐收了。」 老中醫邊問邊寫，然後把寫滿字的兩張紙放到少婦面前。一張上寫著她的苦惱事，一張上寫著她的快樂事，對少婦說：「這兩張紙就是治病的藥方，妳把苦惱事看得太重了，忽視了身邊的快樂。」 說著，老中醫讓徒弟取來一盆說，一只豬苦膽，把膽汁滴入水盆中，那濃綠色的膽汁在水中淡開，很快就不見了蹤影。 老中醫說：「膽汁入水，味則變淡，人生何不如此？不是我們承受了太多的苦痛，而是我們不善用快樂之水沖淡苦味。其實，在我們沉沉嘆息甚至流淚時，幸福就在身邊朝我們微笑。」 Source: http://ondog.wordpress.com/2007/09/03/%E8%86%BD%E6%B1%81%E9%A1%8F%E8%89%B2%E7%9A%84%E6%95%85%E4%BA%8B/ | | |
| WANNA GO HOME!! It's been a long since I last blogged.... Many things happened since the last blog....
Not only was I buried by final projects and papers, but I was also stressed by the crazy storm (derecho) that hit on May 8th and the bees hazard in the porch of the house I am living in...
The conclusion that I could make after all those instances was "I am such a chicken."
I was really coward. I thought to myself that perhaps I am alone now in the house after Yao went home, and that made it a little bit more legitimade to be scared of everything.... But to give a deeper thought, I cannot, but admit that I am an useless coward.....
I am such a worrisome person. I knew this when I was a child. Scared of this; and scared of that...thinking that the worst thing in the world is going to happen to me...
Today is the last day of May. In ten days, I will be going home. I really hope these ten days can fly.. fly .. fly...
Cos I really can't wait to go home.. Can't live with anxiety anymore... I WANT TO GO HOME!! | | |
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